the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Couch. On fire.
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