Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
be right there i have to get my cape
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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