this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
