3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
