"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
