hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
