i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
