brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
