Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
