I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
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