And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
