apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
