FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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