Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
