He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
should my penis look like a turkey
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
