I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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