my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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