he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
