that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
