Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
