Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
