it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
