So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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