i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
