Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
