Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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