I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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