how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
that's an acceptable place to lick
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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