His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize