he told me I talked like a deaf person
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
