i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
