peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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