just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
