Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
