why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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