So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
