guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
