And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
