im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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