is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
