I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
