i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
