One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
