come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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