Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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