It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
