We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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