i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
