He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
