I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
