I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
