we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
