we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
