**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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