Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
True college students do jello shots in the library
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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