....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This baby is an asshole
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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