I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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